Geeks, Nerds, Fanboys and girls - It's the new black.

At one point this weekend I thought about writing a recap of Comic Con and NERD HQ from a "lazy boy" point of view, given that I have now spent countless hours watching YouTube video of panels from that weekend. Seriously, how did we ever live without YouTube? But when this video "Nothing to Prove" by the Doubleclicks surfaced last week it prompted me to reconsider writing about my love affair with geekdom as a life long fangirl.

Let's begin.

My name is Dalissa and I am a fangirl. My nerdom knows no bounds and possesses many layers from life long (Star Wars) to new obsessions (Orphan Black), movies to musical theater to sports I am a BIG OLD GEEK FAN. I was a band geek in high school and a theater nerd in college. I am unapologetic for this and proudly stand among the masses who has done her share of crazy, Whodini tactics to make my fan dreams come true. At 40, I can safely say I have spent an abundance of time adoring from afar whether it was waiting at the stage door of countless Broadway shows, lining up for book/memorabilia signings, camping out for free tickets or buying tickets to galas I couldn't afford.

Fandom for me is about adoration. It is about loving something with the purity of a child because it makes you feel giddy or it allows you to escape from the grind of the real world. It is about admiring a talent you don't possess and relishing in the beauty of it. It allows you to extend childhood fantasy and play as an adult in a way that invokes joy.

I have stories that could fill a book and the scapbooks to back them up. Along the way something unexpected happened. I met interesting, wonderful people who shared my encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture, some of whom became comrades in nerdom. Growing up (before the internet) I saw it manifest in a variety of ways. Being a young girl one of my first real encounters of fandom came to life through the enduring constant that was the 'boy band'. My holy trinity consisted of Menudo, New Edition and Duran Duran. People like to mock the boy band on its face, but the power of a handful of cute boys, some choreography and a catchy tune is a force to be reckoned with. I know this because six months ago I bonded with co-worker over our shared love of New Edition and I have $10 bucks that says if you are a female reading this you just had a memory bliss of your own.

Sports remains my strongest connection to fandom. There is nothing like being in a ballpark, arena or stadium with 30,000 strangers all dressed in team colors, with common love, bias and understanding as you pass through the turnstiles. Being a sports fan is often like gaining a family heirloom, your teams are passed on to you from older generations and it is a part of the connective tissue within your family. It comes with superstitions, rituals and traditions. For me, these make up some of my most precious memories with the men in my family. It is a tradition we are now passing to our children and as an adult I marvel at the broad diversity that comes together in moment around sports to this day. It can rally strangers on a train and be a source of community bonding. Sports may invoke irrational emotions, but rarely are those emotions not based in a passion and joy for the sport one loves.

To this day it is still about the adoration and purity of being a fan, an audience member and the ability to be moved by the wonder of it all. The rise of social media has pushed Nerd culture to the spotlight and dare I say, made it cool. It really is the new black. With innovations in gaming exploding over the last decade, online social networks and the immediacy of Twitter connecting fan bases the true diversity of being a nerd has risen to prominence. It has also put fans into tangent hemispheres with those we admire like never before.

For me however, the love of fandom is more intimate than that. Fandom has given me a world of possibility and friendships that remain a source of real happiness in my life. Some of my first friendships were born out of playing Star Wars on the playground with left over Christmas wrapping paper tubes serving as light sabers. Thirty years later I am still finding kindred spirits through blogs, online social networks and shared commonalities on the playground with other parents. The connections may not always be 'three dimensional' but they are no less real or inspiring (@nerdygirlnotes I am looking at you)

That is what I hope to pass on to my daughter. The beauty, power and joy that comes through individually carving out a path for yourself that is built on passion, admiration and appreciation. Life is hardly monolithic and what I have discovered as a fan girl is that passion for something singular can manifest itself into a discovery of an entire world of information you may not have originally sought out. That sense of wonder is something that drives me today to instill in my child a continued sense of exploration that feeds her insatiable curiosity.

I haven't made it to Comic Con (this year's Orphan Black panel put me dangerously close), Sundance or the Toronto Film Festival yet, but I've got time and it will happen. In my geek heart I have promised myself a trip to Con when the LOST anniversary panel rolls around. It is also safe to assume a much desired laser tag set will be landing on our doorstep this holiday season, because in the realm of all that is possible, I want my daughter to always know there is joy to be found, especially among the geeks, nerds and fan boys and girls.

MOVIE REVIEW: Fruitvale Station, why this portrait of a young black man MUST be seen.

 

There are seminal films that explore the human condition and specifically the realities of urban America. Do the Right Thing and Boyz in the Hood immediately come to mind. I believe we can now add Fruitvale Station to the mix of movies that create an image that flies in the face of media stereotypes and more importantly offers an honest look beyond the headlines. Fruitvale Station is an intimate look at the life of Oscar Grant in the 24 hour run up to his untimely and horrifying murder.

The Story
In 2009, Oscar Grant was fatally shot in the back by a transit officer at Fruitvale Station of the BART system shortly after midnight on News Years Eve. He was on his way home from celebrating in San Francisco with friends. In an altercation captured on cell phone video the case garnered national outrage and attention due to the senseless horror of his death. He left behind a 4-year old daughter, a family and a life unfulfilled. He was was 22 years old.

As a movie
Fruitvale Station is a difficult, heartbreaking, outrage inducing, honest portrait of a young man who was so much more than the sum of his parts. First time filmmaker Ryan Coogler offers a quiet peek into a moment in the life of Oscar Grant during the 24 hours that precede his death. The moving script was written from first hand accounts and countless family interviews ultimately providing the audience a riveting look at this flawed, loving, angry young man who is trying to find his path in life.

This is simply one of the most painful movies I have watched. Knowing the outcome going in does not buffer that pain. On the contrary it heightens the inevitable outcome of this life being snuffed out at the precise moment you see its potential. Coogler doesn't seek to build Grant up as merely a victim of profiling nor does he sanctify him. Instead he directs us through an unvarnished look at a day in the life of a young black man. One who is a father, a son, an individual struggling with balancing bravado, ego and stereotypes that would all seek to define him.

To understand the sadness and outrage, viewers need to be able to glimpse through the prism of what that community of people sees. In Oscar Grant we get a young man struggling to pivot from the mistakes he made in his desperation to carve out a life not only for his daughter, but for himself. He wants to be better, he's just unsure of how. Over the course of the film we learn that Grant (marvelously played by Michael B. Jordan) loves his girlfriend, but has cheated on her, is trying to go straight after serving time in prison for dealing drugs, but was fired from his supermarket job for repeatedly showing up late. It is a typical two steps forward, one step back dance most people endure in their 20s. In Fruitvale Station we get a full idea of the man, not just the circumstances that placed him in an altercation that ended his life and the tragedy that he is never afforded the time or space to overcome those mistakes.

This movie does not work without the extraordinary performance of Michael B. Jordan as Oscar Grant. Jordan quietly (and often in tight frame) captures the nuance around how quickly emotions rise into physical response and are repressed as his temper cools. His scenes with Octavia Spencer, playing Grant's mother are truthful, the image of a tired woman who loves her son but is at the breaking point surrounding his choices. The interplay with his young daughter give important insight that Oscar wasn't the only victim that night. Through her we see how much Oscar Grant had to live for and the innocence he desperately tried to preserve in her. 

The re-enactment of the murder is excruciating to watch and it should be. However I appreciate Cooger's restraint in how he shot the series of scenes forcing us to see without graphically sensationalizing the moment. The closing moments of the film will leave you emotionally distraught and in my case haunted. It is a terrific piece of film making and needs to be seen.


As a conversation
I almost didn't see Fruitvale Station. I thought long and hard about subjecting myself to the raw emotions I knew it would invoke based solely on the story. Then I realized if we don't look in the mirror at the hard societal truths we can't make progress as a society. I don't get a pass on that mirror simply because I have a predisposition to be empathetic.

In response to the coincidence of the film opening in the wake of the George Zimmerman verdict, Ryan Coogler said of the public depiction for both Trayvon Martin and Oscar Grant "They're either a martyr and a saint, or everything they ever did was wrong. The truth is more complicated." In Fruitvale Station he succeeds at showing us that complexity.

If you want to have an honest conversation about race and bias turn off the likes of MSNBC, Fox and CNN along with their combined punditry and arm chair sociology. Instead go see Fruitvale Station with a group of colleagues or friends. Take a look at the honest portraits of the struggles, flawed decency and humanity of what young men of color actually look like. Then reconcile it with the images you see and hear through media everyday. If we don't filter what is fiction vs. what is real what dystopia will we be passing along for our children? Worse than that, we will continue to condemn an entire class of young people to a stereotype that leaves them not caught between a rock and a hard place, but in the cross-hairs of a gun and dead on the cement floor.

EMMY NOMINATIONS RUNDOWN: The Good, the Obscenely Bad and the belief that the Emmy folks don't actually watch TV

Does the Emmy nominating body actually watch TV? Looking at the 2013 nominations you would be hard pressed to think they do. That or you'd think it was actually 2011. I realize that the Emmy's (as with most awards shows) is a game of politics, silliness and a dash of recognition. But in a year that had breakout performances and some really innovative television the nominations this morning just felt lazy. My rant today will focus almost exclusively on what happened in the drama categories. For a more thoughtful pondering of the nominations I suggest you check out this great piece over at Vulture and for those interested in what went wrong with the comedies, head on over to and read my friend's thoughts at  Nerdy Girl Notes later today where you will get an extensive commentary on how New Girl and Parks and Rec were unceremoniously robbed. Look, I don't even watch New Girl and I am baffled by the complete shutout of their actors. Earlier this week I also shared my personal hopes and wishes for this Emmy season, which you can revisit here. Now it's time to look at what actually happened.

** We interrupt this blog post to say SERIOUSLY? No nomination for Tatiana Maslany?**

Moving on, I am going to start negative and end on a positive, because in spite of my abject anger in some areas, there was good news in the sea of Emmy Nominations.

THE BAD

Most Egregious Snub
Hands down Tatiana Maslany being passed over for even a nomination is just ridiculous. They made room for 7 BEST ACTRESS NOMINATIONS and yet somehow, Maslany wasn't recognized for creating 7 unique characters in one series. Not only should she have been nominated, she should have won. Entertainment Weekly had a great theory stating had Orphan Black been on Netflix or HBO she would have likely been nominated. Regardless it's appalling.

Enough Already
The Emmys have a bad habit of nominating shows past their expiration date. Mad Men had an AWFUL season and that is coming from its most loyal fans. You can recognize actors good work in bad seasons, but to nominate shows (especially when there was a plethora of other shows to chose from) under the theory of 'but we always have' is just insulting. This is the type of move that makes me believe the nominating committee doesn't actually watch television or read the news in their own industry. Mad Men had no business being there over the likes of The Good Wife, The Americans or The Walking Dead.

Period Costumes does not equal Best anything (except maybe best costumes)
Let me start by saying, I love Downton Abbey. Eat it up like candy, but British accents and castles does not a great series make. They had a very uneven season and best drama is a suspect nomination. I would also say Hugh Bonneville and Michelle Dockery were overreach nominations. They both had stellar season 2 performances, but to not have Timothy Olyphant or Matthew Rhys in the lead actor category was a miss in my opinion.

** Speaking of Olyphant and Rhys, I'd like to take a moment to say to the Television Academy that nominating the brilliant Margo Martindale does not offer you a hall pass to snub the lead actors on the shows she's featured on. First Olyphant two years ago with Justified, now The Americans. Just because it's F/X doesn't mean the work isn't stellar. Just sayin'.**

How do you solve a problem like The Game of Thrones
Look, I get it. The show is dark, bloody and gratuitous. It also possesses a cast of thousands making it very difficult to keep all the storylines straight, let alone what actors belong to which House. That said, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's performance transformed a key character in this season's narrative. Jamie Lanister is a long way from the man who threw the young Stark boy out a window in season 1. Coster-Waldau did it with an exquisite honest performance that possessed nuance and strength. To overlook his acting is upsetting. The only thing worse than that is completely missing the boat that was Michelle Fairley. Mainly because there won't be another opportunity to nominate her for the fantastically complex and morally flawed work she did as Lady Stark.

PERHAPS THERE IS HOPE FOR THE ACADEMY YET
I am not all piss and vinegar. There were some nominations and shifts that made me very happy. Here's my list of things that the academy did right this morning.

1) All the love for Louie C.K. was both exciting and refreshing to see. While it may not be everyone's cup of tea, Louie is a smart, well conceived and written show. To see him break through big gives me some margin of hope for the future of TV comedy.

2) Julia Louis-Dreyfus surpassed Lucille Ball with her Veep nomination for most ever. Couldn't have happened to a better comedic actress.

3) While I remain singularly irrationally irrate about Tatiana Maslany's absence from the lead actress category. Vera Farmiga and Robin Wright's nominations are solid consolation.

4) The entire slate of nominess for guest actor and actress in a drama: soup to nuts. Are there other people I would have like to see on those lists? Yes. But what makes these two slates great is I don't know who I would bounce out of the category to make room for someone else.

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series
The Good Wife • Nathan Lane as Clarke Hayden

The Good Wife • Michael J. Fox as Louis Canning

Homeland • Rupert Friend as Peter Quinn

Mad Men • Robert Morse as Bertram Cooper

Mad Men • Harry Hamlin as Jim Cutler

Scandal • Dan Bucatinsky as James Novack

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series
The Americans • Margo Martindale as Claudia

Game Of Thrones • Diana Rigg as Olenna Tyrell

The Good Wife • Carrie Preston as Elsbeth Tascioni

Mad Men • Linda Cardellini as Sylvia Rosen

The Newsroom • Jane Fonda as Leona Lansing

Shameless • Joan Cusack as Sheila Jackson

5) Jeff Daniels nomination makes me happy and I don't even like Newsroom. He's one of those actors that people forget how good he really is because he's been around forever.

6) I am always thrilled when people have the good sense to recognize Margo Martindale's work. She is a treasure and makes anything she is in better by simply showing up.

7) Morena Baccarin and Mandy Patinkin's nominations for truly strong work in Homeland. I had many problems with Homeland's second season, it's acting was not among them.

8) I get a special giddy over the idea of Jason Bateman, Don Cheadle and Matt LeBlanc all sharing space in the same category. That is all.

9) Top of Lake and Elizabeth Moss's great work in it are worth everyone's time. Perhaps the Emmy nods will encourage more people to check it out. If you're a Mad Men fan it will prove just how good an actor Moss truly is.

We all have our pet favorites for TV shows, but I think this covers 90% of my emotional catharsis. I don't watch nearly enough on the comedy side to be too opinionated, but I think I can safely say Modern Family is the Mad Men of comedy. On that note, where does your Emmy anger lie?

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: My memo to the Emmys on my wish list of nominees

Emmy nominations come out later this week and while I will have much to say once we have actual nominees, I thought I would offer my best hopes regarding the 2012-2013 television season when it comes to dramas.

LEAD ACTRESS:  Two words: Tatiana Maslany. That it is all. Yes Claire Danes is terrific on Homeland. Yes Orphan Black was a series that came out of no where. That does not diminish the fact that Maslany's work as a series of clones was the singularly best thing to happen to TV this past season. She deserves not only the nomination, she deserves the statue come September. Along side her I would immediately place Robin Wright in House of Cards. It may not have been a great series, but she was a bright light in it. Her character as the driven and ruthless wife of Kevin Spacey was a relentless and stole every scene she was in. Kevin Spacey and Corey Stoll have gotten a lot of attention, I don't understand how Wright has been left out of the praise.

BEST DRAMA: Two more words: Orphan Black. At a bare minimum the show deserves one of the best drama slots this year. The series is innovative, smartly written and balanced an implausible plot with equal parts sci-fi, thriller and humor. There is nothing else like it on television and it had a near flawless first season. Of the nominees from last year - Homeland, Mad Men and Downton Abbey all had weak seasons. I realize Homeland, Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad are a lock for a nominations, the other two could drop off and take Boardwalk Empire with it. That leaves three slots up for grabs. The new shows that are contenders include The Americans, Newsroom, House of Cards and Scandal. If any of them makes the cut and Orphan Black doesn't there is no justice in the world.

BEST ACTOR: Bryan Cranston has done amazing work in Breaking Bad, that's been reinforced loud and clear with 4 Emmys. Perhaps it is time to take a pause and forgive the fact that Justified airs on a third tier network in F/X. Timothy Olyphant is LONG overdue for his subtle, mesmerizing work at the center of that series. Yes honoring Margo Martindale a couple of years ago was terrific, but there is no reason to put Olyphant on the Kyle Chandler Emmy track and waiting for the series to end to recognize the body of work. Both Kevin Bacon and Jeff Daniels deserve a nod in spite of the hot mess that their shows were.  Daniels was compelling even when he was slogging through Sorkin's overworked dialogue and Bacon made me care about his character in sea of bodies and bloodletting. If I am picking from the crop of oft nominees I am going to vote no to Jon Hamm, Michael C. Hall, Steve Buscemi and yes to Bryan Cranston and Damian Lewis (although I suspect Hamm is a lock). Kevin Spacey will round out the nominees not because he was great, but because he's Kevin Spacey.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Game of Thrones may not offer job security, but it should offer up a best supporting actor nomination for Nikolaj Coster-Waldau. Jamie had the biggest trajectory shift on Game of Thrones. When you strip away the Red Wedding and look at the performances no one was stronger, not even Peter Dinklage (although he's a lock to be nominated) I would like to see Coster-Waldau joined by Mandy Patinkin, Homeland had a very rough second season however watching Patinkin's scenes you would never know it. He is stellar even when he was given little to work with and his performance in the closing scene of the season set me completely on edge.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: The best supporting actress category is equally jammed packed with strong contenders. Yes, Maggie Smith will get nominated. It is my hope that Mad Men and Good Wife nominees will drop off and make way for some deserving nominees and fresh faces in the category. My lead contender would be Michelle Fairley. As the matriarch of the now decimated House Stark Fairley's work in the Red Wedding was a master class. In my opinion, Fairley has been a standout for the entire series thus far, but now is the time to recognize it. Rounding out this group I think will be deserved nominations for Morena Baccarin and Monica Potter.

Emmy nominations come out on Thursday and I am sure there will be surprises and disappointments among them. For me, if even a fraction of this wish list *cough* Tatiana Maslany *cough* makes it onto ballots I will be a happy fan girl.

What I believe - Trayvon Martin and the inevitable verdict

I believe a young man is dead who shouldn't be.

I believe the Sanford police department did not care about the fact that this young man was dead and that response set in motion a trajectory that has led to this acquittal.

I believe another young man made a series of decisions that caused Trayvon Martin's death and regardless of what a jury says he is responsible for the actions he took that night.

I believe we will never know what truly transpired between those two men that fateful night.

I believe the prosecution had a circumstantial case and didn't present it strongly.

I believe the prosecution didn't meet it's burden of proof beyond a reasonable doubt.

I believe if George Zimmerman stayed in his car and let the police respond we wouldn't be here today.

I believe too many households had their worst fears affirmed tonight.

I believe the dignity, faith and grace of Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin tells us everything we need to know about the son they mourn.

I believe that the news media and commentary will blur over the next 72 hours amounting to what can best be characterized as "sound and fury signifying nothing".

I believe a young man died needlessly and as a mother grieve the fact that he won't be last.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing. — Macbeth

MOVIE REVIEW: Mud and The Way Way Back because nothing says summer like a coming of age film.

Coming of age films have always been a genre near and dear to my heart, partially because I am sucker for nostalgia. However a good deal of it has to do with the fact that I was 13 years old the summer of 1986 when Stand By Me first hit movie theaters. I vividly remember how it spoke to me and the parallels I saw in my own life growing up in a small town, with a close knit group of friends where I was different and yearned to explore a world beyond our town limits. The film is based on the Stephen King novella about four boys in search of a dead body, who instead find a path away from innocence. Perfectly cast and thoughtfully written, Rob Reiner gets the moments right balancing reflective voice over with truth, humor and drama. The bittersweet joy embodied in the film has stood the test of time to become the benchmark for the genre as a whole.

I was pleasantly surprised to find this summer that Mud and The Way Way Back both offer up coming of age stories centered around strong young male actors with a distinct point of view as they are shown an opening into how the adult world actually functions. What’s truly interesting is they are dramatically different films built within the same story structure. Both films focus on a 14 year old over the course of a summer searching for something to call their own within the confines of a series of events that are less than ideal.  Both find a mentor in men who are at first strangers and quickly become confidants. The structure is so true to form that both movies contain the obligatory scene that offers up a ‘first kiss’ attempt with an ‘older girl/first crush’ that is met with knee jerk rejection. This is where the similarities and formula ceases. What happens next are two divergent films.

"Mud" stars Matthew McConaughey as the title character and event though the film isn’t about him per se, it is the strongest performance Matthew McConaughey has given in a decade, raw and lacking any sense of irony. The story centers on the young boys who befriend him, marvelously played by Tye Sheridan and Jacob Lofland. It is a film that possesses a wonderfully honest script with very little in the way of grandiose philosophy. Instead the wisdom (and ignorance) is discovered by the experiences these boys gain through their friendship and involvement with Mud, a wanted man hiding out on an island where he is discovered by these young boys. Director Jeff Nichols creates a tone and pace for the film that mirrors the rural Southern backdrop perfectly. I appreciated that the movie doesn’t attempt to redeem the flawed adults. Instead it focuses in on the emotional reconciliation that the two young leads must make as a key part of leaving childhood behind. 

The Way Way Back lacks the emotional depth of Mud, but does possess a great deal of heart. It is also the personification of summers past. In this film the story centers on Duncan, effectively played by Liam James. Duncan is the reluctant part of a summer vacation with his mother (Toni Collette playing against type) and her boyfriend (a relentlessly despicable Steve Carell). James acting gives the viewer real insight to the misery that is evident from the opening frame of the film until he encounters and befriends Owen, played by the under-appreciated and ridiculously funny Sam Rockwell. Owen offers not only a much needed mentor for Duncan, but the serves as the centerpiece for the bulk of the movie’s broad comedy. The script drips with nostalgia and spends a good deal of time laughing at it. Back at the summer house, Duncan’s isolation plays out as he observes the desperation of his mother, the belligerence of her boyfriend and the utter chaos that is their oft drunk neighbor, embodied by Allison Janney who once again reveals the depth of her talents and range of emotions she can portray with the turn of a phrase. The Way Way Back is an uneven film and its heavier moments sometimes feel labored or completely out of left field, but terrific dialogue and really wonderful performances from the cast make this film worth the price of admission. What it lacks in balance it more than makes up for in sincere laughs. 

Both films deserve credit for creating the atmosphere and emotions of that important childhood rite of passage. In a time where summers are driven by blockbusters, it is nice to have the chance to revisit imagery of summers that held innocence and discovery. It is even more fascinating to watch them now as the adult on the other side of that discovery.

Prism Changes: A historic week when the title of this blog hits home.

"With your election, you validated my son. And I wanted to scream, why cant we just get validated for being human beings and being who we are. We need to make sure that it's OK to be who we are."  - Lupe Valdez, Sheriff Dallas,Texas

When I decided to start writing a blog again, I did so because I missed writing about things that simply resonated with me. Coming up with a name for this blog was a challenge because I didn't want pigeon-hole what I wrote about, thus Media through a Mom's Eyes was born. Last week the truth of that title hit home. In a week that gave us historic Supreme Court decisions in both marriage equality and the Voting Rights Act and a twitter explosion under the hash tag #StandWithWendy. I see the positive change happening independent of media spin and tasteless, rude and often anonymous retorts (I'm looking at you Governor Perry). I realized as I watched these events unfold that none had a direct effect on my life, yet it was crystal clear that they would impact the landscape of the world my daughter grows up in. In the 8 years since I became a parent my perspective has changed. I am still the same person with the same core beliefs I've had since my own childhood but my considerations have changed. I look at history now through a prism of how it will intersect with my daughter's ability to carve out a life of happiness for herself.

However, it wasn't until I sat down and watched HBO's new documentary The Out List, that the title of this blog truly came to life. For the first time I became cognizant of the fact that I was watching and absorbing something as a parent, not simply an individual in the world. I watched these brave men and women speak openly, harshly and honestly about their journeys in navigating fear anger and every emotion in between caused by a world that wasn't always accepting and often cruel.

Then it happened. I cried.

Knowing me that's not inherently surprising. Yet I was moved because I realized my tears were those of a parent, not a friend or a peer who has knows what it is to be discriminated against. I was just a parent seeing children who were treated as 'other' in some capacity for no reason other than living their truth and having the character to do so in corridors that were resistant to that level of honesty. As a parent my heart breaks a little every time I see my daughter mistreated or rejected by a peer. Instinct drives you to want to shelter and protect them from the evils that are in the world. You want to shield them from harmful words because experience has taught you that in fact words CAN hurt you right along side those sticks and stones. I cried knowing that there are those who would seek to deliberately hurt my child because she was different.

I cried for another reason as well.

I cried for the triumphant spirit of these individuals, most of whom spoke about 'traditional' families where they found love and support. That in the face of real hatred they were surrounded by acceptance in unexpected places. What struck me so profoundly in the storytelling of Janet Mock, Dustin Lance Black, Lupe Valdez and others was the fact that their connection and love within their families and extended communities is the well from which they drew strength. That validation gave them voice for those who might not have one or feel as though their voice is unheard.

As a parent, that is what I want most for my child. To help her grow into a confidant individual who gives voice to the things that she is passionate about and to not fear rejection of her ideas. I no longer look at the world and nod my head knowingly as a Hispanic female who has raised her voice in the desire to be heard. I look at the conversations happening in my community, in our country and on our airwaves as a parent wondering how it will impact my child and how it will influence her voice. That prism is how I filter my media now. It may not be a view through rose colored glasses, but it is a view of the world through a mom's eyes.